After my fantastic couchsurfing experience with Gabriel and his family I was ready to head up to Arusha to get my safari on. I bought my ticket at a manic bus station and was on the bus the next morning bright and early at 5:30am. I was happy to have Gabriel’s security guard help me find the bus as it was a pretty crazy scene, even so early in the morning.

A short while into the nine hour journey Muhammad, the guy sitting next to me, starting chatting to me with the whole ‘where are you from, where are you going, what are you doing, how do you like the weather’ spiel. He’s originally from Kenya but lives in London with his family and he’s in Tanzania for a wedding. His two brothers were sitting in the seats in front of me and after chatting for awhile they all insisted I come to the wedding party that evening at their family home in Arusha. Not having any plans for the evening… sure, why not?

Knowing that the party would be attended entirely by Muslims and not having anything that would cover my legs besides jeans, I was worried about what to wear. I asked Mohammed if a skirt that only went just a little bit past my knees would be ok. He waved me off and said ‘of course, no problem’. Sweet, I suddenly had an outfit.

The night started off with that awkward bit where nothing is really happening yet and everyone around you is speaking in another language. I got the occasional question aimed at me in English or curious look from across the room but for the most part I was staring off into space. Fortunately, the room was filled with colourful decorations and flashing lights that kept my interest for the 20 minutes until everyone arrived.

I’ve been to a lot of places where conservative dress is required, but since Tanzania has a mix of Christianity, Islam and a bunch of others, I thought dress might be a bit more lax than in places like Bangladesh and Indonesia. Well I rocked up and instantly felt like a knee-flashing floozy. I was ok when I was standing up (although that’s debatable because everyone else was covered up to their ankles) but when I sat down, my indecent knees suddenly became exposed and I suddenly became extremely self-conscious of them.

It didn’t help at all that I was sitting in a fairly central location and people were coming up to me all the time to introduce themselves. I wanted to shrink into the shadows but it wasn’t going to happen. Gifts seemed to be exchanged between every member of the family with each person taking a turn sitting in a chair at the front and having photos taken of every other person with them and their gift. Eventually the bride sat in the chair and the major gift-giving, congratulations-giving event began. At the end I was motioned to go up to the bride and congratulate her. Everyone else had already been up for the kiss on the cheek photo op and they didn’t want to leave me out, so up I went, knees and all. The bride was sitting on a chair at the front illuminated by a super bright spotlight for the video camera so there was no escape. I went up for my photo standing beside her holding her hand and then leaned over to give her an awkward kiss on the cheek. I think I might have flashed my boobs to the whole crowd as I bent over. Ah crap.

Later on we went upstairs to repeat the entire process but this time, with the groom. Gifts were given to the groom and then again to the same people that got gifts the first time around. This time they just happened to be in a different room. In this room I was led to a spot on the floor to sit. I love sitting on the floor and can sit cross-legged for a ridiculously long time with no problems. But I couldn’t really have pulled that off in my semi-short skirt so I had to fling my legs to one side and sit like that for about a half hour. I thought my legs were going to fall off after about 5 minutes but readjusting could have led to a possible flashing of the people sitting across from me. I couldn’t really move around subtly either because I was plopped down right near the groom with that same godforsaken spotlight on me the whole time. Eventually I stole some woman’s chair while she was up giving a gift to the groom. Yes, that makes me a terrible person, but it was that or sacrifice my legs in the name of decency.

My favourite part of the ceremony was when people would give a square of chocolate (I wonder if Cadbury’s know they’re a part of Indian/Swahili/Muslim weddings in Tanzania?) to the bride as some sort of ritual thing where she would eat a square. As they did it, they would be looking at the camera posing for the photo and not really paying attention to where the chocolate was going. It was obvious that the bride only wanted to bite off a small corner and it was funny to see her resisting the square with her teeth while trying to smile for the camera as the chocolate was continually smooshed in her face. Priceless.

Through the entire gift-giving process was pretty cool but what really sold me on the whole event was the singing. Damn there was some serious singing going on. Lots of praising of Allah and just really joyful songs that everyone seemed to know the words to. It would take a lot of booze flowing before anyone I know busted into song so ferociously! It was a really great family atmosphere at a special event and I feel lucky to be invited into that.

Something I think really allows people to have these amazing experiences is being open and not so quick to say ‘no’ to crazy ideas or invitations from strangers. I’ve never been too good at accepting generous offers of hospitality or invites. I think I’ve always been too scared of being put in an awkward situation and I think I have still a fear of encroaching on their private lives or of taking up too much of people’s time. I think people are very eager to share their lives and show travellers their country… I think it just comes down to us letting them.

What’s the most random thing that’s happened to you on your travels because you said ‘yes’ to a crazy idea or invite?

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